BEING SHADES IS LIKE BEING A PRIZEFIGHTER, NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU ARE KNOCKED DOWN YOU JUST GET UP AND CARRY ON FIGHTING .I HAVE NOT ONLY BEEN KNOCKED DOWN ON THE HYPERTHETICAL CANVAS HUNDREDS OF TIMES DURING MY INFAMOUS AND NOTORIOUS MUSICAL CAREER, BUT HAVE BEEN METAPHORICALLY SHOT IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD BY PEOPLE I CONSIDERED FRIENDS MORE TIMES THAN YOU’VE HAD HOT LOVERS FRIENDS AND STILL COME BACK FIGHTING. PROUD? BRAVE? STUPID? I GUESS SO. IN FACT BEING SHADES IS NEVER KNOWING WHEN YOU ARE BEATEN AND BEING TOO PUNCH DRUNK TO CARE……MY PHILOSOPHY NEVER GO QUIETLY AND ALWAYS PUT UP A DAMN GOOD FIGHT.

BEING SHADES MEANS THAT YOU WILL HAVE VERY LITTLE DRESS SENSE AND YOU WILL MAKE MANY FASHION FAUX PAS IN THE COURSE OF YOUR BEING AND WILL NOT ONLY TEAM UP THE MOST UNLIKELY CLOTHES AND ACCESSORIES BUT WILL BUY THE MOST HIDDEOUS OF CHARITY SHOP ITEMS AND TURN THEM INTO SOMETHING EVEN MORE OUTRAGEOUS THAN YOUR TWISTED LITTLE MIND CAN CONSTRUCT. WHY? BECAUSE AS WELL AS BEING A LOUD OUTSPOKEN FLAMBOYANT BUT CONFIDENT VOCALIST AND FRONTMAN SHADES IS A DAB HAND WITH A NEEDLE AND THREAD AND A BOX OF MULTI COLOURED SEQUINS. THIS AINT EXACTLY ROCK AND ROLL BUT ENSURES TOTAL UNIQUENESS IN STAGE WEAR AND A MAJOR SAVING OF READIES BY NOT EMPLOYING A BAND SEAMSTRESS FOR TOURING.

BEING SHADES MEANS THAT YOU WILL SPEND YOUR ENTIRE LIFE GETTING IT ALL WRONG. IF THERE IS A WRONG DECISION TO MAKE OR A WRONG CHOICE IN GENERAL YOU WILL MAKE OR FIND IT. PEOPLE YOU MEET AND BEFRIEND, AND PEOPLE YOU MAKE ENEMIES OUT OF WILL ALL BE WRONG, IF YOU HAVE AN IMPORTANT BUSINESS OR LEGAL DECISION TO MAKE…..IT WILL ALL GO WRONG. AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST YOU WILL TOTALLY SCREW UP YOUR LOVE OR FAMILY LIFE OR BOTH AND YOU WILL INEVITABLY DESTROY YOUR MARRIAGE WITH YOUR INSANE LUST FOR ALL THINGS MUSIC, EVEN IF YOUR INTENTIONS ARE MEANT TO BE UNSELFISH THEY WONT BE VIEWED THAT WAY AND EVEN THOUGH DEEP DOWN INSIDE YOU KNOW YOUR MOTIVES ARE SOUND YOU WILL STILL GET IT WRONG AND BE THOUGHT OF AS A SELFISH BASTARD. YOU WILL HAVE A SUCCESSION OF NO HOPER NO BRAINER DAYJOBS WHICH WILL SUCK BIGTIME AND BE VERY HARD LABOUR AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF YOU WILL THROW AWAY HUGE AMOUNTS OF CASH DUE TO FINANCIAL STUPIDITY AND WANTON MISTRUST.

NOW YOU MAY THINK ME A LITTLE ON THE PESIMISTIC SIDE BUT YOU ARE TALKING TO THE GUY WHO SEEMED TO HAVE IT ALL AND THEN LET IT ALL SLIP THROUGH HIS FINGERS LIKE SAND FROM A BROKEN HOURGLASS WITH THE HELP OF A FEW PSUEDO FRIENDS ALONG THE WAY AND SOME WAYWARD RUGS PULLED OUT FROM UNDER MY FEET.

IN SUMMING UP BEING SHADES MEANS THAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU ACHIEVE OR HOW GREAT YOU BECOME YOU WILL BE THE SUBJECT OF MANY THROWN STONES AND YOU WILL BE THE PERSON MOST PEOPLE LOVE TO HATE, BUT LOVE YOU OR HATE YOU THEY SURE WONT BE ABLE TO IGNORE YOU AND YOU WILL SHRUG IT ALL OFF AND TREAT IT WITH THE CONTEMPT IT DESERVES…..AFTER ALL YOU ARE SHADES.

NOW READER LIFE IS ALL ABOUT THE CHOICES WE MAKE, SO YOU CAN EITHER STOP READING NOW AND GO AND DO SOMETHING MORE WORTHWHILE INSTEAD AND NEVER LEARN THE ENIGMA THAT IS SHADES, OR YOU CAN PROCEED TO THE FIRST CHAPTER AND LEARN THE DEEPEST SECRETS AND INNER FEARS OF THIS VERY UNIQUE, VERY MISUNDERSTOOD AND THANKFULLY ONE OFF ENTITY THAT HAS BEEN HAUNTING YOU FOR WHAT SEEMS LIKE FOREVER…..ER ME.