FOREWORD - BY SHADES HIMSELF!!!

I KNOW WHAT THE MAJORITY ARE THINKING OUT THERE……WHAT COULD SHADES POSSIBLY SAY IN FOUR WORDS THAT FOUR HUNDRED WONT DO…..IN SHORT “THIS IS MY LIFE” OR TO BE TOTALLY HONEST “THIS IS MY SHIT”

THE POWERS THAT BE SAID THAT I COULDNT POSSIBLY DO THE FOREWORD OF MY OWN BOOK AND BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY……AND I REPLIED WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT BEING TAKEN SERIOUSLY…..I JUST DON’T DO IT AND I LOVE FOREPLAY HA HA HA

BEING SHADES CONJURES UP MANY DIFFERENT DISTURBING IMAGES TO MANY DIFFERENT PEOPLE, SOME OF WHICH ARE MOST DISTURBING THEMSELVES. WHETHER YOU VIEW SHADES AS THE ONE MAN PORTABLE PARTY WHO NEVER FAILS TO LIGHT UP A ROOM JUST BY WALKING INTO IT OR LITERALLY LIGHTS UP A ROOM BY USE OF DANGEROUS STAGE WEAPONS, OR THINK SHADES IS A THOROUGHLY PRETENTIOUS TWAT WHO JUST REFUSES TO DIE OR GO AWAY AND ALWAYS SEEMS TO HAVE THE LAST WORD IN ANY MAGAZINE DEBATE OR ARGUMENT IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE FUEL FOR THOUGHT AND A MAJOR BONE OF CONTENTION WITH THE GENERAL PUBLIC.

LET’S FACE IT SHADES ISNT HAPPY UNLESS HE IS BITCHING WITH SOMEBODY ABOUT SOMETHING RIGHT?

NOW I KNOW WHAT YOURE THINKING “WHO THE HELL WOULD WANT TO BE SHADES ANYWAY”? WELL YOU WOULD BE SURPRISED, I HAVE MET MANY ROCKY SHADES IMPERSONATORS DURING MY LIFE AND TO BE HONEST WHICH IS WHAT THIS BOOK IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT, SOME OF THEM EVEN MADE A BETTER ME THAN I DID.

ONE VERY BITTER ROCKY SHADES IMPERSONATOR WAS SO HORRIBLE AS ME TO ONE OF MY FRIENDS ON MY SPACE RECENTLY (LETS CALL HER THE LAWLESS BABE…….EVEN THOUGH HER REAL NAME IS GINA D……YOU KNOW THE GIRL WITH THE FULL LENGTH LEPRECHAUN TATTOO DOWN HER SIDE AND THE RED DEVIL ON HER BREAST) THAT WE HAD TO SET AN ONLINE TRAP FOR HIM.

TO CUT A LONG STORY SHORT WHICH, IS SOMETHING I DON’T DO OFTEN, WE FOUND OUT THAT THE REASON THIS CLOWN WAS BAD MOUTHING ME WAS THAT BACK IN 1987 HE SAID THAT I SLEPT WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND AND HE HAS HATED ME WITH A VENGEANCE SINCE…..JOIN THE QUEUE I SAY.
NOW THE TRUE IRONY OF THIS TALE IS THAT AFTER BEING VERY INTRIGUED WITH THE MECHANICS OF THE CRIME I SET ABOUT WORKING OUT IF THIS COULD BE SO, AND TO MY UTTER DISMAY THAT AFTER CHECKING TIMELINES AND BAND MEMBER PLACINGS DURING THE ACCUSED SPELL OF TIME IT TURNS OUT THAT IT WASN’T EVEN ME THAT DID THE DEED IT WAS ANOTHER MEMBER OF THE BAND WHO SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS UNTIL HE DECIDES TO CONFESS IN HIS OWN BOOK.

SO I CURIOUSLY RE-CONTACT THE GUY AND EXPLAIN THAT HE IS CARRYING ALL THIS NEEDLESS ANGST AND HATRED AGAINST ME FOR NOTHING……AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID IN REPLY? HE SAID THAT AS HIS GIRLFRIEND LIKED ME MORE THAN THE OTHER BAND MEMBERS IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE I WOULD GET TO CHEAT WITH HER SO HE FEELS JUST IN HATING ME ANNON…….ITS A FAIR COP I SUPPOSE.